


Be Proud

by Anonymous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bobby Singer is Dean Winchester's Parent, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Human Castiel, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Only one but it's there, Pride Parades, Repression, SO, Season 10 compliant I guess, Slurs, Supportive Sam, This is not about romance at all but about Dean loving himself, Writer has not watched spn since season 10, You can't change my mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-01-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:08:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22395274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: After a hunt, the gang decides to go to NYC's Pride Parade. Dean will have to deal with some truths about himself and the scars of his father's terrible upbringing; but at the end, with some help from Sam, he might learn how to love himself and allow himself to be happy.Read the notes for trigger warnings.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 93
Collections: SPN





	Be Proud

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! So, I stopped watching spn in 2015, after Charlie was gruesomely murdered because I couldn't stomach how they treated their one queer character (and if I'm honest, by all the shit I'm seeing on tumblr, I'm glad I got out on time and I feel no desire of catching up). I had written this a couple of weeks before I stopped watching and completely forgot about it for the next five years. I wasn't planning on publishing it, but then I've seeing all these posts about Dean's birthday and I felt a bit nostalgic thinking that this is the last season, so here we are.  
> I hope you enjoy it!  
> PS: TRIGGER WARNING There's two f-slur and mentions of John's abuse, both psychological and physical. Also Dean is pretty repressed so he says some shit that can be triggering or offensive.

Dean had never been a fan of big crowds. Way too many people, way too much noise. Not to mention that any kind of threat could easily hide among the multitude. And he was definitely not a fan of _this_ kind of crowd.

So how in the ever-loving fuck did he end up in here? Because Charlie is a master of manipulation and Sam is weak and says ‘yay’ to every-fucking-thing she says. And also because of Cas.

It was supposed to be a simple case; a salt-n-burn in New York, that they only took because it was on the way back home from another case they just finished in Connecticut. It turned up to be a little more complicated than they had anticipated. It was a whole fraternity of ghosts and their rests where all over different places, so it was basically a treasure hunt.

Thankfully, Charlie had showed up just in time to help them stop the four remaining ghosts from killing a nineteen year old boy.

And that should have been all. They should have gotten in Baby and gone home. But Charlie stopped him when she saw him packing. “What are you doing? You’re not thinking of leaving now, are you?”

“Uh, yes? Why the hell would we stay?”

“The parade. Duh.”

“What parade?” he asked, confused.

“Dude, it’s the last week of June... NYC Pride Week?”

“Oh. Right." That explained it, but it didn't mean they had to stay. "Well, if you want to stay that’s cool, but we haven’t really slept in weeks and we wanna go back to the bunker.”

“You’re speaking for yourself, but I don’t see Sam and Cas giving their opinions.” Charlie pointed.

“I’m sorry. Pride of what?” Cas, always clueless Cas, asked.

“Gay pride, Cas! Oh, it’s awesome; you really need to see it!”

“Gay as in happy or as something else than heterosexual?”

“Both. Mostly the last, but both is good" she replied with a cheerful smile.

“Then I think it should be right for me to participate in this parade you are talking about.”

“What?! Why?” Dean looked at him with an ‘I’m so done with the world’ expression. Was he seriously the only one who was tired? And had Cas just implied he was gay?

“Because now that I’m human I think I should be more involved in human activities. And I’m utterly indifferent to gender when it comes to sexual attraction and I feel proud about it, so I feel like it would be indeed appropriate for me to go.” A feeling he couldn’t describe settled in Dean’s guts.

“Well, buddy, that’s… uh… great. But we still gotta-”

“Sam!” Charlie ignored him. “What do you say?” Dean couldn’t actually see her face because she was facing the other way, but he was 1000% sure she said something to convince his brother.

“Yeah, Dean, let’s stay. It’ll be just a day. It’ll be fun.”

“It’s settled! We’re here, we’re queer –well, most of us– and we’re awesome.” Dean rolled his eyes at his brother feeling so betrayed. He really missed his memory foam and his kitchen.

So that’s how he had ended up in the middle of one of the most concurred events on the country, surrounded by all kinds of people who were singing and dancing and celebrating. He felt completely out of place.

Everybody else was having fun; Charlie somehow had managed to get in one of the parade floats and was wearing a rainbow flag as a cape. Sam had taken some multicolored shots and now was having a conversation with a group of drag queens that seemed quite profound from his perspective. And Cas had remained by his side, looking at everything with amazement and a huge smile.

“Why are you so upset, Dean?” Cas had to get very close to him so he could hear him, and Dean tried to ignore the twist his stomach made when his friend touched him to get his attention. But it was too much. He felt suddenly overwhelmed and all he could do was mumble some excuse and get out of there as fast as possible.

About an hour later Sam found him sitting in the parking lot of their motel, drinking his fourth beer of the afternoon.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“Cas said you ran off. He was pretty worried.”

“Yeah, well, I’m fine…” He takes a sip from the bottle.

“Dude, cut the crap. What happened?”

“Nothing happened; I just don’t like these things, that’s all.”

“Dean, come on. You know you can talk to me.”

“Oh, yes, Sammy. Let’s talk about our feelings and braid each other’s hair.” He mocks him.

“Don’t play the ‘no chick-flick moments’ card now.” Dean doesn’t bother answering. “I got you something. Maybe it’ll help.” He gets a black shirt out of a bag and gives it to him.

“What is this?” He unfolds the fabric to see a tiny cartoon pie with pink, purple and blue fill and the words ‘Everyone is a little pie-curious’.

“I saw it and I thought of you. It’s funny ‘cause you like pie and you’re bi-”

“No, seriously. What the hell is this supposed to mean?!”

“Well, you know…” Dean still looks at him like he is holding a bomb. “Okay. I can’t freaking believe I’m giving you this talk, but… So, there’s people who like the opposite gender, like me; then there’s people who likes the same gender, like Charlie, and then there’s people who likes both… like you.”

“What the fuck, Sammy?! That’s not… I don’t… I’ve never…”

“Dude, stop it. We’ve shared a room for basically all of our lives. I know what you’re into.” Sam seems almost amused with the situation.

“I-I don’t even know what you’re talking about. Come on, you know me. I like frisky women with big boobs and long hair.”

“Yeah, and also frisky, bulky dudes with big arms.”

“Dude! You have seen my goddamm porn collection! It’s all Busty Asian Beauties”

“Yes, and there’s a few Blueboys in there too. You’re not exactly subtle by hiding porn.” Dean’s face is so red Sam is afraid he might explode. “Hey, it’s totally okay it’s…”

“HOW CAN IT BE OKAY, SAM?! THIS IS NOT NORMAL. I’M SICK. I’M…”

“WHOA. Whoa. Calm down. Why do think that?”

“Because it’s true.”

“Okay… Do you think Charlie is sick? Or Cas?”

“No, of course not. It’s me. I can’t... I can’t be a…” Dean looks at the floor and then Sam understands everything.

“Is this about dad? About what he said when you and… Matt?”

“Mark..." he corrects him without thinking. "How the hell do you even know about that?!” he asks alarmed. 

“I heard it. I was supposed to be in the library, but got back earlier. Dad was screaming and he called you…” He doesn’t even dare to repeat it.

“A disgusting faggot. That’s what he called me. We weren’t even doing anything. I was barely fifteen, for fuck’s sake.”

“But Dean, that was only…”

“What? You think that was the only time?” He doesn’t want to tell Sam about this. But the memory is suddenly so clear in his head and that pain he had buried a long time ago comes back to him and hits him like a ton of bricks. “When you left for Stanford I was pretty bad, so I went to this bar and I met this guy. I don’t even remember his name. Dad caught me bringing him to my room and made him leave and then he…” He finishes his beer, hoping the bitter taste would make the memory less painful. It doesn’t. “He beat the shit outta me. He kept saying I was not a real man, that I was worthless, that he couldn’t have a faggot as a son.”

Sam wants to hug him, he wants to tell him everything is alright, he wants to comfort him just as Dean had been doing for him all his life. But mostly, he wants to bring John Winchester back to life so he can tell him how much of an awful father he was, so he can punch him for doing this to the person he loves the most.

“Dean…”

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear you say you’re sorry. Because it was my fault.”

“No! It was not! None of that is true! You’re not worthless, you’re not sick. Dean, that bastard is dead. Has been for a long time, he can’t hurt you now.”

“He was our dad…”

“He was the man who gave us money before leaving us for months. That’s not a dad. You know who our real dad was.” They stay silent for a while; remembering Bobby is always bittersweet. “You wanna know something? He totally knew.”

“What?”

“Oh, yeah. We had a bet going about when would you and Cas get together.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Nope. He used to say you had to get over it and let yourself be happy for once and that weirder shit happened in our lives, so two guys together was no reason to get your panties in a bunch... Also, I bet that if you’d asked him, he would’ve totally gone to a parade and wear a ‘my son is queer, get over it’ shirt.” Dean laughed at the mental image of Bobby surrounded by rainbow flags.

“That’s… Yeah, he would have. Remember the Stanford cap you got him? He wore that shit for months. It reeked.” They both smile at the memory.

“He would be proud of you. And so am I.”

“Okay. That's enough feelings talk for the rest of the year. Now let’s get back inside, my ass hurts.” He gets up and heads for their room feeling lighter, like there used to be a literal weight in his chest that is not there anymore.

“Dean.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to wear the shirt, but you should feel proud of who you are.”

“Didn’t I just say enough?” Sam can’t even see his face, but he knows he’s smiling. “I’ll think about the shirt.”

“Dean?”

“Yeah?”

“You should ask Cas out.”

“…Shut up, Sammy.”

It takes a couple of months and some internet research for encouragement, but he wears the shirt in the end. Cas always compliments him when he’s wearing it; he says the confidence makes him look more beautiful (and Dean totally doesn’t blush like some kind of teenage girl. He doesn’t.)

It takes a few more months until he finds the right moment to ask Cas out. They go to the movies and then they have dinner at a nice place. They hold hands and smile and look disgustingly cute.

It takes only one kiss to fully convince himself that John Winchester was mistaken all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Did Sam just straight-explained bisexuality?


End file.
